Be Kind, Stay Strong

When I called numerous relatives in Italy to inform them of my recent loss of a loved one, they cried so hard over the phone that I practically ended up consoling them. Their empathy and compassion comforted me in a way that little else could. Researchers, such as David McLelland, have found that empathy and kindness are healing gifts --both for the giver and the receiver--that actually create changes in the immune response. Even watching acts of kindness on film had the effect of strengthening the immune system for up to an hour after the film was over. Today, I’d like you to fill your day with kindness in three ways:
1.Perform at least one kind act for someone who doesn’t expect it.
2. To the extent that you can, don’t interact with people who are unkind to you.
3. Make your TV and film choices be “feel-good” activities, and avoid themes that contain violence.

Do you need to break through some obstacle in your life? I am offering deep discounts on my 20/20 Breakthrough Solution, and my Recession Stimulus Life Coaching packages. Go to www.dolcevitaseminars.com and click on Life Coaching.

Looking Good: A Remedy for Tough Times

Call me shallow if you must but I stand united with my Italian sisters and brothers in affirming the importance of the bella figura---your birthright to look good. Taking care of your looks, as it turns out, goes beyond mere vanity. Researchers have found that attractive people are seen as more confident—and that translates into a greater likelihood of getting hired, starting a new job at higher wages, or even getting that promotion you had your hopes on. One of the quickest, cheapest, and most effective ways to initiate your own beauty Renaissance is with a drop or two of what epic poet Homer referred to as “liquid gold”. Of course, I am referring to olive oil. Pure, replenishing, fragrant olive oil. Mix a drop in your palm with some sugar to form a delightful facial scrub. Put a few drops into your shampoo, or rub a dab between your palms and apply to styled, dry hair. For your complexion use olive oil alone on clean skin at before bed (it absorbs in nicely) or mix a drop or two with your favorite day cream, adding a touch more around the eyes. When you pamper yourself with a daily beauty routine you will look better, feel better—and even increase your chances of attracting love. Olive oil is an ancient beauty secret that has definitely stood the test of time, as evidenced in the drawings on the inside of tombs and on pottery dating back to the Etruscans, and the ancient Greeks and Romans. So forget emptying the last of your savings on exotic spa getaways. All you have to do is go to your cabinet right now, pull out that bottle of extra virgin olive oil, and experience the luxury of a spa treatment in the comfort of your home.

Declare Your Turning Point And Take Action

Fear is one of the greatest immobilizers. I have talked to people who have suffered profound losses (as I have), whether it be the loss of a loved one, getting laid off from a job, having one's home go into foreclosure, or being diagnosed with a serious illness. The question becomes: is it possible to live a "dolce vita" despite having to face terrible events? In fact, it is more important than ever to capture life's blissful moments--it is good for your emotional health and your physical health. There are many stories of people who have overcome impossibly tragic circumstances, and they all have one thing in common: they reached a turning point in which they refused to take their hard luck sitting down. They decided to move from fearful inaction to determined, massive, action--aimed at moving their lives forward. And in the process, they took the focus off of their hardships and laser-focused it on the gifts they have been graced with, no matter what else was going on. I have done this with my own life, and I help my clients to do it with theirs through my life coaching (info@dolcevitaseminars.com). It is not about frenetic action, but about planning a life strategy that you follow each and every day--even when you don't feel like it. Because when you are feeling defeated, you are also feeling helpless. The key is to focus on what you can control in your life, and start from there. Here is an easy starting point, which, if practiced throughout the day today will have you feeling better by the time you turn in tonight: Stand up straight and smile. That's it. do it today, and every day for 10 consecutive days. Do it as often as you can, whether you feel like it or not. You'll see how even a little bit of action--which you can control---will begin to turn your life back around.
What is stopping you from declaring your turning point? If you'd like me to mentor you in developing a life strategy and hold you accountable for making the next break-through in your life, write to me and let's begin taking action right now: info@dolcevitaseminars.com for a free introductory life coaching session, via telephone.
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Shift Happens (And it Should!)

There is a difference between a foreigner’s perspective of the Aeolian island of Stromboli (e.g., a simple image of an active volcano) versus the perspective of Italians who live nearby and refer to Stromboli as the isola dei sentimenti, the island of feelings. They go beyond the active volcano stage to affectionately seeing her as a moody dome of impenetrable rock, calmed and softened by the embrace of her acquiescing lover, the Tyrrhenian Sea. When is the last time you looked beyond your usual way of seeing things and opened yourself up to a paradigm shift (a new way of looking at things) that could lead you to a more intensely passionate dolce vita (sweet life)? If you feel bored, stuck, or devoid of enthusiasm, or find yourself complaining all the time, it may be time to let shift happen for you, too. Imagine the transformation if you shifted from:
· Fear to courage
· Defensiveness to the ability to listen
· Worry to positive action
· Factual knowledge to wisdom
· Narrow-mindedness to open-heartedness
· Clinging tight to letting go
· Junk food to life-giving foods
· Isolation to joyful socializing
Letting yourself explore a new perspective, helps the real you to emerge by unlocking self-imposed obstacles to your growth and personal development If you are ready to make a shift and need some support in following it through, I invite you to take advantage of a free 30-minute life coaching session to explore how we can work together. Write to info@dolcevitaseminars.com At www.dolcevitaseminars.com you can also sign up for my new weight-loss teleclass, starting this month.

8 "Dolce Vita" Happiness Strategies You Can Learn

How happy are you on a scale from 1-10? You might be pleased to know that happiness is not something that just happens or doesn’t happen to us. Whether or not you have the good fortune to be wealthy--monetarily and socially--- and despite evidence of some predisposition towards our mood patterns, happiness researchers such as Michael Fordyce, etc, have found that engaging in behaviors that happy people do, will make us feel happier, too, despite our circumstances. So what is happiness? My definition is tied in to what my “dolce vita” model of the sweet life conveys: it is mastering the art of living well-- physically and emotionally... and being able to capture and savor the small joys that are woven throughout each day, which, perhaps were imperceptible to you previously.

Here are some of the best kept secrets I teach to my workshop students and life coaching clients (for a free sample life coaching telephone session: info@dolcevitaseminars.com). Feel free to see if they work for you, too.


1. Anchor Yourself with Rituals
Abraham Maslow wrote a lot about the human need for security. He did not only mean the obvious, like protecting ourselves from crime and having our finances in order, but also important is the rhythm of ritual that grounds us, and makes us feel safe in an unpredictable world. What are some healthy rituals you can weave into your daily, weekly, and monthly routines?

2. Stop Stress with Your Breath
The breath is a powerful tool for replenishing. It is like a mini vacation and an immediate stress –buster. Here is one of my favorite stress-busting breath patterns; one that I patterned after the wonderful material of integrative physician Dr Andrew Weil. It works and here is how to do it: Take 4 breaths in; hold for a count of 7 then take 8 counts to exhale through your mouth with the tongue on roof of mouth. Hear the whooshing sound it makes as you exhale. Repeat this 3-4 times. It is the next best thing to going to the Amalfi Coast.

3. Use the Thought Exchange

Did you know that 90% of worries never come true? And the ones that do come true are often beyond our control. Try this: make a list of things that make you smile, and whenever a worry comes to mind, write it down (tell yourself you can deal with it later but for now you’d like it out of your head), and substitute that negative thought with one of those positive, happy images. Make this a habit to become less a worrywart!

4. Be Physically Active

Physical activity, according to Fordyce is a wonderful antidote to a sullen mood. As he puts it “idleness is depression’s workshop”. Keep busy and engaged in the tasks at work and at home. Find ways to enjoy those activities, and in your free time, seek out activities that are fun for you. Being active is like making an investment in your life.

5. Get Organized
Most of us go thru life blindly. According to Fordyce, you get what you want when you know what you want. So get going and make a life plan. Set goals, long and short term, and give yourself a map through the journey of life.

6. Clean Up Your Relationships

First, I try to help my clients draw personal boundaries around, or eliminate toxic
relationships, so they no longer have the power to control them. Second, even with positive relationships it is always a good idea to lower your expectations, and realize that people are only human, with all of the flaws that we ourselves have. Cut the people you love some slack. Third, spend more time socializing, making friends, and also maintaining the friendships you have. This was a key point in my book “Living la Dolce Vita: Bring the Passion, Laughter, and Serenity of Italy into Your Daily Life” (http://www.dolcevitaseminars.com/), and it is important to remember that while we all need time alone, too much time alone can induce the blues.

7. Keep a Self- Therapeutic Journal

Writing is a tool that can be used for self-knowledge, catharsis (blowing off steam), self-expression, and for eliminating worries. You can also use journaling as a very effective weight loss tool (see my Spring Shape Up Teleclass, starting on April 13th http://www.dolcevitaseminars.com/). Any cheap spiral notebook will do the job, but these days, when self-esteem seems to be dwindling along with the economy, I advise something that would seem counterintuitive—go and buy yourself one of those beautiful hardbound blank books, as a symbol that your life is worth it. In that book write out your goals, your dreams, anything you want—but keep it in a private place so that you will feel free to express yourself.

8. Achieve Something

Everyone needs to feel good about something they’ve accomplished. Give all tasks meaning by making them worthy of your time. Whether at home or at work, do the best job you can, at whatever you do. The research has shown that happy people are productive and this gives their life purpose.

NEWS:
· SELF-HELP WRITING eBook AVAILABLE: If you’d like to become a published self-help writer, you can order my new eBook on http://www.dolcevitaseminars.com/. There you will find all of the information you need to reach your writing goals, including samples of article and book proposals, exercises for developing your theme and idea, and much much more.
· SPRING SHAPE-UP TELECLASS! Do you seek a gentler way to shape up for Spring? Valerie Bertinelli isn’t the only one who can look great in a bikini! Why not join me from the comfort of your own home, for my six-week teleclass series, Mondays, starting on April 13th, 8-9:30PM EST. You can register at http://www.dolcevitaseminars.com/

· FREE SAMPLE LIFE COACHING SESSION: Specializing in working with Italian Americans who want to reduce stress, save money, and live simply and more joyfully by reconnecting to the “dolce vita” principles of their heritage. To arrange for a time: info@dolcevitaseminars.com

Be Your Own "Amore"

From the poetry of Petrarcha to a scrumptious pannino, Italian style romance is multilayered—like the concentric circles that emerge after throwing a stone into a calm lake. At the center point should always be the love you give to yourself. From there your love can flow to others and out into the world and you will never feel like you are running on “empty.” As Giacomo Dacquinto wrote in his best selling Seduzione, l’arte di farsi amare, Seduction: The Art of Making Others Fall in Love With You, “Give to yourself first; then you will always have something to give others.” Pampering yourself in a way that increases your well-being (nota bene, this would not include downing an entire box of chocolates in one sitting), really does make you irresistible. When you treat yourself like you’re special, healthy relationships will float into you, without your having to seek them out. And when you have honored yourself first, you’ll be prepared to receive love and reciprocate. You don't have to wait until you're in a relationship in order to feel loved; instead declare yourself the recipient of some special treatment in advance: throw yourself a party, order a special meal, or indulge in a half hour of il dolce far niente. When you love yourself, it sends the world a message that you are also worth being loved by others.
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Visit www.dolcevitaseminars.com to find out how you can get a free sample life coaching session with the "Dolce Vita Doctor". You will also find my latest eBook on How to Write and Publish Self-Help Books and Articles--jam-packed with great useable information and examples.

Teleclass Announcement!

Need to calm down, save money, and enjoy life more despite stressful times? Take my 4-week teleclass from the comfort of your home. For more information http://www.dolcevitaseminars.com/ click on Events & Workshops