Make la Domenica Special

When I was a kid, you could always tell it was Sunday (domenica). We would wake up to the smell of un bel caffe', have a special bakery brioche, and head off to Church. We would arrive home to the aroma of rich tomato sauce and meatballs sauteing on the stove--and if we were lucky, we were allowed to dunk a piece of crusty bread into the sauce, as long as we didn't eat so much that it would ruin our appetite for Sunday dinner.

Your Sunday customs might be similar, or entirely different from mine. That is okay. But whatever they are--or were--I urge you to renew them or start a new tradition that will set your Sunday apart from the rest of the week. When you make your Sunday special it becomes a marker--a signal--that a fresh new week (with problems of the week gone by a mere memory)--is about to begin. A week of new hope, joy, possibility.

So enjoy your Sunday. Make it special. Turn on some music. Rest. Worship. Meditate. Whatever you don't get a chance to do during your hectic week. Do it today. Then start Monday as if it were the first day of the rest of your life. Because it is.

a presto!
Raeleen

Change Something, ANYTHING, if you want to Reduce Stress!

Recently I have had the privilege of teaching stress reduction as part of a cardiac study being conducted at Yale. The protocol draws from solid research in the area of cognitive behavioral therapy, which tells us that changing any of the following: the stress-inducing situation (if possible); the automatic stressful thought that pops into our minds; the negative emotion, or our body's response to a stress-------will reduce stress. You don't have to change all of these at once in order to regain a peaceful, healthy state of functioning. One will do nicely, thank you. You can change the way you look at a situation, concentrate on positive emotions, deep breathe to relax the body. All of these tools are wonderful ways to maintain inner serenity in times of turmoil. Then of course, you might want to read my next column for the Italian Tribune--and see why taking time to notice a rainbow works well, too, in improving the quality of life.

How do YOU reduce stress? Or don't you? Let me know by posting your comments below.

Till next time.. a presto!
RAeleen

The Word Diet

Parole, parole, parole. Most of us use way too much verbiage; often just to hear ourselves talk. We throw words into a conversation that have no meaning ("well"; "you see", "ehm"), or bad meaning (like gossip, where acid words about others do nothing but sell us out in the long run)

What would happen if you made a decision to cut your verbal output by 1/3 by getting rid of excess and negative talk? You would then learn to rely more on eye contact, observation of others' actions and body language--and above all, you would make sure that whatever you said was productive, encouraging, positive, and kind.

So let's beautify our verbal output from here on it. Use it for Truth, Light, Insight, and Wisdom. You ARE your word, so let all of what you say reflect your goodness.

Perfect Happiness is a Moment Away

Having studied the dolce vita lifestyle habits for many years, my conclusion is that people who say perfect happiness doesn't exist are just WRONG. To me, happiness is in the worry-free zone of the present moment.

The reason that time seems to stand still in the Bel Paese, is that there is a natural tendency to linger fully immersed in each moment before one lets it pass by. The focus is on the immediate--and nothing behind or ahead of it.

When you ask nothing more of yourself than to focus on what you are doing right now right here, you will finally discover the gift of freedom. Freedom from worry about your past, or about what will happen to you in the future. Each moment, when lived fully IS perfect happiness. Full immersion living will pull you out of emotional pain and into emotional relief. NOW is that wonderful moment in time in which you can just BE.

As you read this blog post you are neither ruminating over your past, nor fearful about your tomorrow. You are simply thinking about what you are reading, right? Nothing more. Nothing less. Happiness is really simple, isn't it? All you need do is consider the moment.

Make Today a Day of Favorites!

Living a "Dolce Vita" or sweet life is about creating and celebrating as many moments of joy as you can squeeze from a day. One way to start is by making a long list of your FAVORITES:

• song,
• meal,
• beverage,
• friend,
• outfit,
• TV show,
• poem,
• book,
• fragrance,
• sport
• etc.

NOW, fill your day with as many of these as you can. The more the better. Immersing yourself in favorites is like treating yourself to a day of celebration and abundance, and it won't cost you a cent. Get into the "favorites" habit each day and you will clear out mental negativity to make room for a life that fulfills you on every level. It is about honoring YOU.

If you'd like a free sample life coaching session to get you on your way to a dolce vita of your dreams, write info@dolcevitaseminars.com

Believe in Yourself!

Social psychologist Albert Bandura wrote: “People who regard themselves as highly efficacious act, think, and feel differently from those who perceive themselves as inefficacious. They produce their own future, rather than simply foretell it.”
What does this mean to you? It means that when you approach your goals with confidence, you are more likely to succeed in reaching them. You will be more motivated, more persistent (think: Thomas Edison and how many filaments it took before he finally invented the light bulb!), and more likely to get up and start over when you hit a wall.
Now I am not talking about being confident about reaching unrealistic goals. I, for instance, no matter how confident I tell myself I am at becoming a concert pianist, will most likely never be one---because I haven’t played seriously in 30 years! But what about the goals you do have the skills for, but just lack the confidence you need to pursue them? Here are four ways to increase your “self-efficacy”, your confidence in succeeding at the specific tasks you need to do to reach your goals:

1) Think back to times in which you DID succeed at similar tasks. Bandura calls these “mastery experiences”. Just recalling them, and remembering how you did it, will increase your motivation and persistence to continue at the task at hand.

2) Observe someone similar to you, who is doing what you aspire to do. If not a live person, then read an inspiring biography, like Anthony Robbins used to do, to get himself motivated and in a “can do” mindset.

3)Find people who will verbally encourage you. We all have enough naysayers around us. Now look for the “yeahs”! People who believe in you and tell you so. They are like a social net of support and strength and definitely the kind of people you want to fill your inner circle with.

4) Keep calm and yet just excited enough to get “juiced up”, that is, have the energy to work hard, sacrifice, roll up your sleeves and give it the elbow grease that will get the task done

Remember , believing in yourself should be based in a realistic skill set, and the self-knowledge that you know how to set yourself apart from the crowd, by being persistent and motivated to go to the finish line. Now go and achieve the dolce vita (sweet life) that you deserve! And if you’d like a little guidance, a little verbal support and encouragement ,just drop The Dolce Vita Life Coach a line at info@dolcevitaseminars.com for a free 30-minute strategy session, to see how we might work as a team.

7 Keys to Success

No matter what else is going on in the world, these principles will keep you on track--all the way to realizing your goals.

1. Balance Your Life. A balanced life is like a net of support. When one area is broken you have the others to hold you up until you can fix it. Don't give your focus to just one thing. Pay attention to ALL of your needs. Good food and exercise, saving/earning enough money to pay your living expenses, feeling good about yourself, nurturing loving relationships, and spirituality.

2. Find a Mentor/Be a Mentor. Find someone who is similar to you (your background, situation, goals, etc) who has done what you hope to do. Ask them to mentor you, to share suggestions. Be willing to pay their fee if they are a professional who does what you are asking about for a living.
Share what you know with others, too. One of my favorite experiences was tutoring inner city kids after school when I was in high school. They couldn't wait for me to come each day and that made me feel important and valuable. Remember that helping out is a win/win situation.

3. Build emotional and physical muscle. Practice controlling your emotions by focusing on positive, not negative thoughts. Anger and stress can kill--and they do. Instead, write out your anger on a piece of paper, then rip it up and let it go. There is always something you can appreciate, and that state of appreciation will even change your heart rhythm.
Physical muscle is important, too. Make sure you get the activity you need everyday, including aerobic and weight bearing exercise. Staying healthy is key for achieving your goals more easily. It is also about appreciating the body you were given.

4. Acquire the Resources and Tools you need to succeed. Go to the library and take out books that are relevant to your goals. Take out biographies that will inspire and motivate you. Ask experts for recommendations as to how to do something you aspire to do. Resources are all around. Often we expect to reach a goal without acquiring the necessary skills and training to attain it. Get what you need and be confident you can succeed.

5. Develop a Strategy/Plan. Just "wishing" that your dreams will come true will not make it so. Plan out what you will do, step by step to actually make those dreams HAPPEN. Make them concrete and take a small step each day toward them.

6. Accept Life's Seasons. Just as a beautiful life-filled spring always comes on the heels of even the most frozen winter, you are surely going to experience ups and downs in life as we all do. Just remember how you got through the last winter or tough time in your life. You will then have the confidence to know you can do the same in the hard time you are facing right now. confidence. You CAN get through anything!

7. Get Clear on Your Values. What is it that is really important to your life right now? List those things and find ways to nurture them for as long as possible. Then clarify what in your life doesnt' serve you anymore. Come up with ways to eliminate those elements. Finally, write your goals--long and short term, for what you really DO want in your life that you don't have right now.

As always, life coaching can be a valuable tool and resource for you in putting these principles to work. Sample a free session with me by dropping me a line at info@dolcevitaseminars.com Let me know what your goals are, and what the obstacles are that keep you from them.

Also, please mark this blog as a favorite, and my radio show at blog talk radio (dolce vita coach)! Hope you enjoy the episodes.

Today, Let the Focus be YOU

Nonna Giuseppina’s life centered on the small pleasures of gardening, cooking, and loving her family. And when it came time to go into town she put on her most elegant dress, hat and gloves, and pulled out her best lipstick to make a “bella figura”. Indeed she was proud of herself and held her head high. She always watched what she ate, spoke what she felt, took care of her family, and above all, enjoyed herself every day.
Being of service to others is privilege and a gift, but often we neglect ourselves in such a way as to diminish our self-esteem and keep ourselves from thriving. How? Every time you pass up the exercise, eat junk food, or feed yourself junky-thoughts, it is like taking your most treasured plant and throwing it in the basement, where it will get neither food, nor water, nor light. Every time you let someone else tell you what is best for you, take advantage of you, or internalize someone else’s mean spiritedness, it is like doubling the punishment toward yourself. You were not put on this earth to wallow in self-deprecation.
The Truth is, YOU must be the defender of your own potential. When you need comfort, give yourself comfort with life-affirming self-talk. When you need protection, put an imaginary shield around yourself to block out negativity. When you need to get into shape, cut out the sugar and start walking so as to improve your health and to live a better life. When you’re feeling gloomy about how you look, strip off the sweats and get something out of the closet that will make you feel like royalty. Who cares if you’re only going to walk the dog? Today, I want the focus to be YOU. Do what it takes to celebrate the extraordinary being that you are.

If you need some help giving birth to a new YOU, I encourage you to join me for an individual or group life coaching experience. Drop me a line, and let me know what is keeping you from being all you know you can be. It is time to clarify, focus, and get yourself back on track. You deserve it. info@dolcevitaseminars.com www.dolcevitaseminars.com

Love to Enjoy Life

From the Barbarian invasions in the early 5th century to the Italian wars which started out with French domination and ultimately ended in Spanish rule, Italy and her people are no strangers to the importance of unification as a means to survive. The Risorgimento, or Italian Unification, is really symbolic of the social unification of the everyday people of the Bel Paese. The core fibers of Italy's societal fabric are made of the strongest filament of all--AMORE. The people of our favorite boot-shaped peninsula love God, their partners, their children, their friends,their food, their art--no surprise here--but most of all---they are deeply and profoundly in love with life. This is what elevates the mundane to a level of sanctity. Love is as necessary to Italian life as the air Italy's people breathe. Amore is what makes each moment a celebration. And the psychological research shows that the power of love is no myth, and it is definitely not just reserved for those in Italia.
Think: What and who do you love today? Make a list right now, as soon as you are done reading this post. Then fold the list and keep it in your pocket, to be carried around with you and unfolded many times throughout the day. You will go to bed tonight feeling rich, happy, and serene. If that isn't dolce vita, what is?

Felice Felice Felice....To Be Alive!

Flipping through the pages of The Italian Tribune, for whom I write a weekly column, my eyes became riveted to an enchanting photo of a vibrantly smiling centenarian. Rita Levi Montalcini is not your ordinary 100-year old Italian. Still very much an active contributor to the world in which she lives, Dr Montalcini is a medical doctor, a Nobel Prize-winning researcher, and she is still going strong. She attributes her rich full life to two attributes that we could all stand to adopt, especially during times we’re convinced that life couldn’t get any worse for us:

1. Feel happy to be alive; and
2. Be of service to others.

That’s the recipe that the distinguished Dottoressa has been cooking up and nurturing her soul with since 1909. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you consider it as your new recipe for a long and healthy life, too.

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• clarify your new direction
• appreciate each day for the energy of its gifts
• break the gravitational pull of negative events
• make a plan for renewal based on what matters to you most

Everyone that registers (http://dolcevitaseminars.com/_wsn/page7.html) will get a free, signed copy of the book that started it all "Living la Dolce Vita". Filled with inspiration and self-help ideas to make your life seem like a bel paese haven.

Serenity Supper Recipe

We all need a break when it comes to slaving over a hot stove, but the one thing we should never break from are healthy eating habits, because they are what sustain us physically and emotionally. What if suppertime could bring all of the mind-body benefits of an Italian vacation, at a fraction of the cost and without any of the jetlag? And what if, in addition to feeding your body well, you can also feed your heart and soul at the same time? Here is the recipe for instant serenity, all’italiana: One hunk of crusty bread, one wedge of creamy parmesan or sharp provolone, one vine ripened tomato, and a glass of red wine. If this combination alone doesn’t send you to straight to Paradise, then adding an amica or two will definitely seal the deal, especially if you throw in a bit of Pavarotti in the background. So what are you having for supper tonight? Andiamo a cenare!
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Is your life out of balance and too heavy with worry, stress, and are you short-changing the areas that can bring real fulfillment and bliss? Let me help you to live a dolce vita, despite tough economic times. Go to www.dolcevitaseminars.com and click on "life coaching" to see my special recession discounts. You can also follow me on twitter! Search for Raeleen Mautner and get an update each day.

Be Kind, Stay Strong

When I called numerous relatives in Italy to inform them of my recent loss of a loved one, they cried so hard over the phone that I practically ended up consoling them. Their empathy and compassion comforted me in a way that little else could. Researchers, such as David McLelland, have found that empathy and kindness are healing gifts --both for the giver and the receiver--that actually create changes in the immune response. Even watching acts of kindness on film had the effect of strengthening the immune system for up to an hour after the film was over. Today, I’d like you to fill your day with kindness in three ways:
1.Perform at least one kind act for someone who doesn’t expect it.
2. To the extent that you can, don’t interact with people who are unkind to you.
3. Make your TV and film choices be “feel-good” activities, and avoid themes that contain violence.

Do you need to break through some obstacle in your life? I am offering deep discounts on my 20/20 Breakthrough Solution, and my Recession Stimulus Life Coaching packages. Go to www.dolcevitaseminars.com and click on Life Coaching.

Looking Good: A Remedy for Tough Times

Call me shallow if you must but I stand united with my Italian sisters and brothers in affirming the importance of the bella figura---your birthright to look good. Taking care of your looks, as it turns out, goes beyond mere vanity. Researchers have found that attractive people are seen as more confident—and that translates into a greater likelihood of getting hired, starting a new job at higher wages, or even getting that promotion you had your hopes on. One of the quickest, cheapest, and most effective ways to initiate your own beauty Renaissance is with a drop or two of what epic poet Homer referred to as “liquid gold”. Of course, I am referring to olive oil. Pure, replenishing, fragrant olive oil. Mix a drop in your palm with some sugar to form a delightful facial scrub. Put a few drops into your shampoo, or rub a dab between your palms and apply to styled, dry hair. For your complexion use olive oil alone on clean skin at before bed (it absorbs in nicely) or mix a drop or two with your favorite day cream, adding a touch more around the eyes. When you pamper yourself with a daily beauty routine you will look better, feel better—and even increase your chances of attracting love. Olive oil is an ancient beauty secret that has definitely stood the test of time, as evidenced in the drawings on the inside of tombs and on pottery dating back to the Etruscans, and the ancient Greeks and Romans. So forget emptying the last of your savings on exotic spa getaways. All you have to do is go to your cabinet right now, pull out that bottle of extra virgin olive oil, and experience the luxury of a spa treatment in the comfort of your home.