Declare Your Turning Point And Take Action

Fear is one of the greatest immobilizers. I have talked to people who have suffered profound losses (as I have), whether it be the loss of a loved one, getting laid off from a job, having one's home go into foreclosure, or being diagnosed with a serious illness. The question becomes: is it possible to live a "dolce vita" despite having to face terrible events? In fact, it is more important than ever to capture life's blissful moments--it is good for your emotional health and your physical health. There are many stories of people who have overcome impossibly tragic circumstances, and they all have one thing in common: they reached a turning point in which they refused to take their hard luck sitting down. They decided to move from fearful inaction to determined, massive, action--aimed at moving their lives forward. And in the process, they took the focus off of their hardships and laser-focused it on the gifts they have been graced with, no matter what else was going on. I have done this with my own life, and I help my clients to do it with theirs through my life coaching (info@dolcevitaseminars.com). It is not about frenetic action, but about planning a life strategy that you follow each and every day--even when you don't feel like it. Because when you are feeling defeated, you are also feeling helpless. The key is to focus on what you can control in your life, and start from there. Here is an easy starting point, which, if practiced throughout the day today will have you feeling better by the time you turn in tonight: Stand up straight and smile. That's it. do it today, and every day for 10 consecutive days. Do it as often as you can, whether you feel like it or not. You'll see how even a little bit of action--which you can control---will begin to turn your life back around.
What is stopping you from declaring your turning point? If you'd like me to mentor you in developing a life strategy and hold you accountable for making the next break-through in your life, write to me and let's begin taking action right now: info@dolcevitaseminars.com for a free introductory life coaching session, via telephone.
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Shift Happens (And it Should!)

There is a difference between a foreigner’s perspective of the Aeolian island of Stromboli (e.g., a simple image of an active volcano) versus the perspective of Italians who live nearby and refer to Stromboli as the isola dei sentimenti, the island of feelings. They go beyond the active volcano stage to affectionately seeing her as a moody dome of impenetrable rock, calmed and softened by the embrace of her acquiescing lover, the Tyrrhenian Sea. When is the last time you looked beyond your usual way of seeing things and opened yourself up to a paradigm shift (a new way of looking at things) that could lead you to a more intensely passionate dolce vita (sweet life)? If you feel bored, stuck, or devoid of enthusiasm, or find yourself complaining all the time, it may be time to let shift happen for you, too. Imagine the transformation if you shifted from:
· Fear to courage
· Defensiveness to the ability to listen
· Worry to positive action
· Factual knowledge to wisdom
· Narrow-mindedness to open-heartedness
· Clinging tight to letting go
· Junk food to life-giving foods
· Isolation to joyful socializing
Letting yourself explore a new perspective, helps the real you to emerge by unlocking self-imposed obstacles to your growth and personal development If you are ready to make a shift and need some support in following it through, I invite you to take advantage of a free 30-minute life coaching session to explore how we can work together. Write to info@dolcevitaseminars.com At www.dolcevitaseminars.com you can also sign up for my new weight-loss teleclass, starting this month.

8 "Dolce Vita" Happiness Strategies You Can Learn

How happy are you on a scale from 1-10? You might be pleased to know that happiness is not something that just happens or doesn’t happen to us. Whether or not you have the good fortune to be wealthy--monetarily and socially--- and despite evidence of some predisposition towards our mood patterns, happiness researchers such as Michael Fordyce, etc, have found that engaging in behaviors that happy people do, will make us feel happier, too, despite our circumstances. So what is happiness? My definition is tied in to what my “dolce vita” model of the sweet life conveys: it is mastering the art of living well-- physically and emotionally... and being able to capture and savor the small joys that are woven throughout each day, which, perhaps were imperceptible to you previously.

Here are some of the best kept secrets I teach to my workshop students and life coaching clients (for a free sample life coaching telephone session: info@dolcevitaseminars.com). Feel free to see if they work for you, too.


1. Anchor Yourself with Rituals
Abraham Maslow wrote a lot about the human need for security. He did not only mean the obvious, like protecting ourselves from crime and having our finances in order, but also important is the rhythm of ritual that grounds us, and makes us feel safe in an unpredictable world. What are some healthy rituals you can weave into your daily, weekly, and monthly routines?

2. Stop Stress with Your Breath
The breath is a powerful tool for replenishing. It is like a mini vacation and an immediate stress –buster. Here is one of my favorite stress-busting breath patterns; one that I patterned after the wonderful material of integrative physician Dr Andrew Weil. It works and here is how to do it: Take 4 breaths in; hold for a count of 7 then take 8 counts to exhale through your mouth with the tongue on roof of mouth. Hear the whooshing sound it makes as you exhale. Repeat this 3-4 times. It is the next best thing to going to the Amalfi Coast.

3. Use the Thought Exchange

Did you know that 90% of worries never come true? And the ones that do come true are often beyond our control. Try this: make a list of things that make you smile, and whenever a worry comes to mind, write it down (tell yourself you can deal with it later but for now you’d like it out of your head), and substitute that negative thought with one of those positive, happy images. Make this a habit to become less a worrywart!

4. Be Physically Active

Physical activity, according to Fordyce is a wonderful antidote to a sullen mood. As he puts it “idleness is depression’s workshop”. Keep busy and engaged in the tasks at work and at home. Find ways to enjoy those activities, and in your free time, seek out activities that are fun for you. Being active is like making an investment in your life.

5. Get Organized
Most of us go thru life blindly. According to Fordyce, you get what you want when you know what you want. So get going and make a life plan. Set goals, long and short term, and give yourself a map through the journey of life.

6. Clean Up Your Relationships

First, I try to help my clients draw personal boundaries around, or eliminate toxic
relationships, so they no longer have the power to control them. Second, even with positive relationships it is always a good idea to lower your expectations, and realize that people are only human, with all of the flaws that we ourselves have. Cut the people you love some slack. Third, spend more time socializing, making friends, and also maintaining the friendships you have. This was a key point in my book “Living la Dolce Vita: Bring the Passion, Laughter, and Serenity of Italy into Your Daily Life” (http://www.dolcevitaseminars.com/), and it is important to remember that while we all need time alone, too much time alone can induce the blues.

7. Keep a Self- Therapeutic Journal

Writing is a tool that can be used for self-knowledge, catharsis (blowing off steam), self-expression, and for eliminating worries. You can also use journaling as a very effective weight loss tool (see my Spring Shape Up Teleclass, starting on April 13th http://www.dolcevitaseminars.com/). Any cheap spiral notebook will do the job, but these days, when self-esteem seems to be dwindling along with the economy, I advise something that would seem counterintuitive—go and buy yourself one of those beautiful hardbound blank books, as a symbol that your life is worth it. In that book write out your goals, your dreams, anything you want—but keep it in a private place so that you will feel free to express yourself.

8. Achieve Something

Everyone needs to feel good about something they’ve accomplished. Give all tasks meaning by making them worthy of your time. Whether at home or at work, do the best job you can, at whatever you do. The research has shown that happy people are productive and this gives their life purpose.

NEWS:
· SELF-HELP WRITING eBook AVAILABLE: If you’d like to become a published self-help writer, you can order my new eBook on http://www.dolcevitaseminars.com/. There you will find all of the information you need to reach your writing goals, including samples of article and book proposals, exercises for developing your theme and idea, and much much more.
· SPRING SHAPE-UP TELECLASS! Do you seek a gentler way to shape up for Spring? Valerie Bertinelli isn’t the only one who can look great in a bikini! Why not join me from the comfort of your own home, for my six-week teleclass series, Mondays, starting on April 13th, 8-9:30PM EST. You can register at http://www.dolcevitaseminars.com/

· FREE SAMPLE LIFE COACHING SESSION: Specializing in working with Italian Americans who want to reduce stress, save money, and live simply and more joyfully by reconnecting to the “dolce vita” principles of their heritage. To arrange for a time: info@dolcevitaseminars.com

Be Your Own "Amore"

From the poetry of Petrarcha to a scrumptious pannino, Italian style romance is multilayered—like the concentric circles that emerge after throwing a stone into a calm lake. At the center point should always be the love you give to yourself. From there your love can flow to others and out into the world and you will never feel like you are running on “empty.” As Giacomo Dacquinto wrote in his best selling Seduzione, l’arte di farsi amare, Seduction: The Art of Making Others Fall in Love With You, “Give to yourself first; then you will always have something to give others.” Pampering yourself in a way that increases your well-being (nota bene, this would not include downing an entire box of chocolates in one sitting), really does make you irresistible. When you treat yourself like you’re special, healthy relationships will float into you, without your having to seek them out. And when you have honored yourself first, you’ll be prepared to receive love and reciprocate. You don't have to wait until you're in a relationship in order to feel loved; instead declare yourself the recipient of some special treatment in advance: throw yourself a party, order a special meal, or indulge in a half hour of il dolce far niente. When you love yourself, it sends the world a message that you are also worth being loved by others.
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Visit www.dolcevitaseminars.com to find out how you can get a free sample life coaching session with the "Dolce Vita Doctor". You will also find my latest eBook on How to Write and Publish Self-Help Books and Articles--jam-packed with great useable information and examples.

Teleclass Announcement!

Need to calm down, save money, and enjoy life more despite stressful times? Take my 4-week teleclass from the comfort of your home. For more information http://www.dolcevitaseminars.com/ click on Events & Workshops

The Power of One (The Dolce Vita Way to Lose Weight)

Do you remember your first cursive handwriting lesson as a kid? Chances are your teacher didn’t just put the alphabet in front of you and tell you to “go for it”. Instead, she had you begin with many repetitions of the letter “a” until writing that letter became second nature to you. Once you had it down pat, it became a motivating factor for wanting to make your “b” just as lovely. Personally, I could hardly wait to be able to write like the “big kids”, and so I made a heroic attempt to form all of my letters at once, in order to quickly get to the fluid part of writing. The result was maddening and frustrating. My letters were utterly illegible, and I ended up feeling like a complete failure. Fortunately, my second grade teacher, taught me that having the patience to perfect just a single letter of the alphabet before worrying about the others, would eventually start a chain reaction that made it easier to segue into the “b”, then the “c”, and so on. Before I knew it, I was there, and I have not had to start from square one since. The same thing is true with losing weight.

Losing weight, like learning to write in cursive, can be overwhelming if you think you have to learn all of the proper eating and exercising behaviors contemporaneously. You can’t suddenly expect to change years of improper eating habits and a sedentary lifestyle overnight, like rubbing on a magic genie lamp. Eventually you figure out there is no such thing as a genie that twitches her nose and transforms you into your slimmer alter ego. But here is an idea that is even better than having a personal genie, because you will learn to tap into the real genie within yourself. How do you get it to surface? You can start that chain reaction of weight loss success by selecting just ONE healthy behavior to work on at a time. Then go to the next. It doesn’t even have to be a major change. You could, for instance, simply increase your water intake by just one glass a day for the next couple of weeks. You will eventually perform this behavior effortlessly and naturally. When you see how easy that was, I promise you will be fired up for the next challenge. And then the next, and that is exactly how lifestyle behavior changes take hold. Are you ready to test the power of ONE for yourself? Here is how to start.

Begin by writing a list of ONES. Include all of the healthy dieting and exercise behaviors you think you need to work on, until they become second nature to you. Each list is individual, and you can jot down as many positive weight loss behaviors as you choose. Here are some ideas to get you started:

· One extra 20 minute walk on Saturdays
· One extra glass of water each day
· One less snack during the day each day
· One more serving of vegetables or fruit
· One 5-minute session of deep breathing in the morning
· One minute of positive affirmations at the beginning of each day
· One song on the radio each day, to which you dance freely
· One meal that includes low fat, healthy foods, each day.
· One less temptation hanging around in the refrigerator.
· One compliment that you give yourself without fail, each day.
· One minute of sit-ups before bed each night.
· One weigh-in a week to keep track of progress without obsessing
· One extra day a week of taking your vitamins, if it isn’t already a daily habit

Now choose a single behavior and don’t worry about the other ones on the list until you have mastered the one change you have targeted. Work on it for at least a couple of weeks, before beginning work on another one.
Notice how you feel once you have mastered each new positive habit. Notice how much more motivated you are to get right on to the next one.
Proceed this way until you have mastered your entire list. This is a satisfying, and very doable approach to weight loss, which inevitably snowballs from single behavioral changes, to an entire lifestyle overhaul.

My Power of One approach is a painless way to finally succeed at getting and staying fit. Give it a try and see if it works for you. Remember to center your energy on the behavior you have chosen for the day, and don’t let yourself get overwhelmed by other things you must do. Start with the “a” and before you know it you will be on “z” and everything will come together naturally. In the words of Benjamin Franklin, “One today is worth two tomorrows”.

Letting Your Casa Mirror Your Spirit

“Disturbo O-s-s-e-s-s-i-v-o – C-o-m-p-u-l-s-i-v-o,” I once enunciated to my non-psychologist Amalfitana friend Graziella to explain obsessive compulsive disorder. This, after discovering that I could see my reflection in the highly polished finish of her floors.

“You can read a person’s heart by the way they keep house,” she replied calmly as we sat in her large airy villa overlooking the placid gulf of Salerno. We had been discussing a headline in the Corriere della Sera: Italy Beats U.S. 21-4. That wasn’t the latest soccer score, but instead the results of a recent market research survey, reflecting the number of hours Italian versus American women dedicate to maintaining their homes each week. While most Americans, myself included, might consider the hours Italian women spend cleaning excessive, Italians say that when you cherish your home, you cherish yourself. When you’re feeling good, you pretty up your home; when you’re feeling down, a pretty home lifts you up. “It doesn’t take a lot of euro to clear out clutter, polish floors, or tastefully decorate,” Graziella told me.

The interiors of all Italian homes, from tiny apartment to sprawling villa, whether ornately Mediterranean or modern minimalist, are united by one common denominator: uncluttered loving care. A well-groomed home nurtures all who enter with serenity, aesthetic pleasure, and inviting warmth. Italian decorators know that color matters, too. Choose brighter colors if you want a stimulating atmosphere or darker colors for a more calming effect. Graziella picked warm salmon for her walls, terracotta for the floors, and overstuffed cream leather upholstery to soften the angular spaciousness. Each piece served a dual purpose of functionality and beautification. Bowls of spiced potpourri blended a baked-goods aroma with the salty ocean air flowing in from the windows. Sitting here felt like paradise and impressed on me the power of a room to comfort, nurture, relax, or renew. It is all in how you arrange it, decorate it, and yes -- care for it. Graziella’s advice for making home where the heart is?

“Weave love into every room of your house. Think of your castle as the canvas upon which you paint a beautiful life.”