Believe in Yourself!

Social psychologist Albert Bandura wrote: “People who regard themselves as highly efficacious act, think, and feel differently from those who perceive themselves as inefficacious. They produce their own future, rather than simply foretell it.”
What does this mean to you? It means that when you approach your goals with confidence, you are more likely to succeed in reaching them. You will be more motivated, more persistent (think: Thomas Edison and how many filaments it took before he finally invented the light bulb!), and more likely to get up and start over when you hit a wall.
Now I am not talking about being confident about reaching unrealistic goals. I, for instance, no matter how confident I tell myself I am at becoming a concert pianist, will most likely never be one---because I haven’t played seriously in 30 years! But what about the goals you do have the skills for, but just lack the confidence you need to pursue them? Here are four ways to increase your “self-efficacy”, your confidence in succeeding at the specific tasks you need to do to reach your goals:

1) Think back to times in which you DID succeed at similar tasks. Bandura calls these “mastery experiences”. Just recalling them, and remembering how you did it, will increase your motivation and persistence to continue at the task at hand.

2) Observe someone similar to you, who is doing what you aspire to do. If not a live person, then read an inspiring biography, like Anthony Robbins used to do, to get himself motivated and in a “can do” mindset.

3)Find people who will verbally encourage you. We all have enough naysayers around us. Now look for the “yeahs”! People who believe in you and tell you so. They are like a social net of support and strength and definitely the kind of people you want to fill your inner circle with.

4) Keep calm and yet just excited enough to get “juiced up”, that is, have the energy to work hard, sacrifice, roll up your sleeves and give it the elbow grease that will get the task done

Remember , believing in yourself should be based in a realistic skill set, and the self-knowledge that you know how to set yourself apart from the crowd, by being persistent and motivated to go to the finish line. Now go and achieve the dolce vita (sweet life) that you deserve! And if you’d like a little guidance, a little verbal support and encouragement ,just drop The Dolce Vita Life Coach a line at info@dolcevitaseminars.com for a free 30-minute strategy session, to see how we might work as a team.

7 Keys to Success

No matter what else is going on in the world, these principles will keep you on track--all the way to realizing your goals.

1. Balance Your Life. A balanced life is like a net of support. When one area is broken you have the others to hold you up until you can fix it. Don't give your focus to just one thing. Pay attention to ALL of your needs. Good food and exercise, saving/earning enough money to pay your living expenses, feeling good about yourself, nurturing loving relationships, and spirituality.

2. Find a Mentor/Be a Mentor. Find someone who is similar to you (your background, situation, goals, etc) who has done what you hope to do. Ask them to mentor you, to share suggestions. Be willing to pay their fee if they are a professional who does what you are asking about for a living.
Share what you know with others, too. One of my favorite experiences was tutoring inner city kids after school when I was in high school. They couldn't wait for me to come each day and that made me feel important and valuable. Remember that helping out is a win/win situation.

3. Build emotional and physical muscle. Practice controlling your emotions by focusing on positive, not negative thoughts. Anger and stress can kill--and they do. Instead, write out your anger on a piece of paper, then rip it up and let it go. There is always something you can appreciate, and that state of appreciation will even change your heart rhythm.
Physical muscle is important, too. Make sure you get the activity you need everyday, including aerobic and weight bearing exercise. Staying healthy is key for achieving your goals more easily. It is also about appreciating the body you were given.

4. Acquire the Resources and Tools you need to succeed. Go to the library and take out books that are relevant to your goals. Take out biographies that will inspire and motivate you. Ask experts for recommendations as to how to do something you aspire to do. Resources are all around. Often we expect to reach a goal without acquiring the necessary skills and training to attain it. Get what you need and be confident you can succeed.

5. Develop a Strategy/Plan. Just "wishing" that your dreams will come true will not make it so. Plan out what you will do, step by step to actually make those dreams HAPPEN. Make them concrete and take a small step each day toward them.

6. Accept Life's Seasons. Just as a beautiful life-filled spring always comes on the heels of even the most frozen winter, you are surely going to experience ups and downs in life as we all do. Just remember how you got through the last winter or tough time in your life. You will then have the confidence to know you can do the same in the hard time you are facing right now. confidence. You CAN get through anything!

7. Get Clear on Your Values. What is it that is really important to your life right now? List those things and find ways to nurture them for as long as possible. Then clarify what in your life doesnt' serve you anymore. Come up with ways to eliminate those elements. Finally, write your goals--long and short term, for what you really DO want in your life that you don't have right now.

As always, life coaching can be a valuable tool and resource for you in putting these principles to work. Sample a free session with me by dropping me a line at info@dolcevitaseminars.com Let me know what your goals are, and what the obstacles are that keep you from them.

Also, please mark this blog as a favorite, and my radio show at blog talk radio (dolce vita coach)! Hope you enjoy the episodes.

Today, Let the Focus be YOU

Nonna Giuseppina’s life centered on the small pleasures of gardening, cooking, and loving her family. And when it came time to go into town she put on her most elegant dress, hat and gloves, and pulled out her best lipstick to make a “bella figura”. Indeed she was proud of herself and held her head high. She always watched what she ate, spoke what she felt, took care of her family, and above all, enjoyed herself every day.
Being of service to others is privilege and a gift, but often we neglect ourselves in such a way as to diminish our self-esteem and keep ourselves from thriving. How? Every time you pass up the exercise, eat junk food, or feed yourself junky-thoughts, it is like taking your most treasured plant and throwing it in the basement, where it will get neither food, nor water, nor light. Every time you let someone else tell you what is best for you, take advantage of you, or internalize someone else’s mean spiritedness, it is like doubling the punishment toward yourself. You were not put on this earth to wallow in self-deprecation.
The Truth is, YOU must be the defender of your own potential. When you need comfort, give yourself comfort with life-affirming self-talk. When you need protection, put an imaginary shield around yourself to block out negativity. When you need to get into shape, cut out the sugar and start walking so as to improve your health and to live a better life. When you’re feeling gloomy about how you look, strip off the sweats and get something out of the closet that will make you feel like royalty. Who cares if you’re only going to walk the dog? Today, I want the focus to be YOU. Do what it takes to celebrate the extraordinary being that you are.

If you need some help giving birth to a new YOU, I encourage you to join me for an individual or group life coaching experience. Drop me a line, and let me know what is keeping you from being all you know you can be. It is time to clarify, focus, and get yourself back on track. You deserve it. info@dolcevitaseminars.com www.dolcevitaseminars.com

Love to Enjoy Life

From the Barbarian invasions in the early 5th century to the Italian wars which started out with French domination and ultimately ended in Spanish rule, Italy and her people are no strangers to the importance of unification as a means to survive. The Risorgimento, or Italian Unification, is really symbolic of the social unification of the everyday people of the Bel Paese. The core fibers of Italy's societal fabric are made of the strongest filament of all--AMORE. The people of our favorite boot-shaped peninsula love God, their partners, their children, their friends,their food, their art--no surprise here--but most of all---they are deeply and profoundly in love with life. This is what elevates the mundane to a level of sanctity. Love is as necessary to Italian life as the air Italy's people breathe. Amore is what makes each moment a celebration. And the psychological research shows that the power of love is no myth, and it is definitely not just reserved for those in Italia.
Think: What and who do you love today? Make a list right now, as soon as you are done reading this post. Then fold the list and keep it in your pocket, to be carried around with you and unfolded many times throughout the day. You will go to bed tonight feeling rich, happy, and serene. If that isn't dolce vita, what is?

Cuore Mio, Heart of Mine

From the time I was a little girl my grandfather referred to me as "Cuore Mio", my heart. Of course, part of the problem was that he found my "American" name (Raeleen) difficult to pronounce. But Cuore Mio was just fine with me. The heart, after all, is the generator of the body. A peaceful heart produces chemicals that neutralize the stress hormone cortisol, and keep our emotions and body strong. Recently I came across a wonderful technique to keep the heart in a peaceful place and help our parasympathetic nervous system to shut down an over active fight or flight response when we are stressed, anxious, sad, or angry--all of those emotions if left unchecked, can sicken and even kill the body. The "dolce vita" technique, is appreciation. An appreciative heart has a different rhythm than does a fretful heart. And even when standing before our most difficult challenges and losses, we can still take a moment to close our eyes and fill our mind with the picture of something we have in our lives right now that we truly appreciate. It can be your dog, the flowering bush outside your window, a friend who just said something wonderful to you...or the fact that you were given the gift of another day to live. Appreciate, and let your heart spread the peace. If you'd like some help doing that, just contact me at info@dolcevitaseminars.com . Or find some great life coaching packages on my website: www.dolcevitaseminars.com
Till next time, Cuore Mio.

Felice Felice Felice....To Be Alive!

Flipping through the pages of The Italian Tribune, for whom I write a weekly column, my eyes became riveted to an enchanting photo of a vibrantly smiling centenarian. Rita Levi Montalcini is not your ordinary 100-year old Italian. Still very much an active contributor to the world in which she lives, Dr Montalcini is a medical doctor, a Nobel Prize-winning researcher, and she is still going strong. She attributes her rich full life to two attributes that we could all stand to adopt, especially during times we’re convinced that life couldn’t get any worse for us:

1. Feel happy to be alive; and
2. Be of service to others.

That’s the recipe that the distinguished Dottoressa has been cooking up and nurturing her soul with since 1909. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you consider it as your new recipe for a long and healthy life, too.

LAST CALL and BONUS when you sign up for my TURNING POINT TELECLASS, starting April 30th! Join me this week and every Thursday evening through June 4th for a personal development class you will never forget. Solid, hands-on information that you can use to:

• clarify your new direction
• appreciate each day for the energy of its gifts
• break the gravitational pull of negative events
• make a plan for renewal based on what matters to you most

Everyone that registers (http://dolcevitaseminars.com/_wsn/page7.html) will get a free, signed copy of the book that started it all "Living la Dolce Vita". Filled with inspiration and self-help ideas to make your life seem like a bel paese haven.

The Allure of Confidence

From as early as his teen years, Giuseppe Mazzini (1805-1872) had a vision of independence and unity for his country, and for the liberation of all oppressed people. This courageous leader of the Italian Risorgimento (unification) worked feverishly towards this goal for his entire life. Despite setbacks, he never wavered in his conviction, but kept moving steadily toward it. People were drawn to his confidence like flies are to honey. That inspiration was what powered his success. When you exude confidence others crave your company, because it boosts their energy, too. Confidence is contagious because it feeds the human hunger to believe in oneself. We need to be models of confidence now, more than ever—for our children, our friends and coworkers, and most of all for ourselves, so we can stay motivated to succeed in tough times. One of the most important techniques for gaining confidence is to become really good at something you’ve never tried before. Start out small, with a baby-step commitment to a brand new project you think you’d love to do, but have been putting off because of fear of failure. When I decided to write a book I never thought I’d be able to complete it, let alone publish it. But I started small. With just an outline of the ideas I wanted to include. Then a paragraph. Then a page. Completion of the book was my idea of success. Others define success in their own way. Remember that it is your own voice that counts. The more you learn to follow it, the more confident you will be, and the more you will inspire others.