Change Something, ANYTHING, if you want to Reduce Stress!

Recently I have had the privilege of teaching stress reduction as part of a cardiac study being conducted at Yale. The protocol draws from solid research in the area of cognitive behavioral therapy, which tells us that changing any of the following: the stress-inducing situation (if possible); the automatic stressful thought that pops into our minds; the negative emotion, or our body's response to a stress-------will reduce stress. You don't have to change all of these at once in order to regain a peaceful, healthy state of functioning. One will do nicely, thank you. You can change the way you look at a situation, concentrate on positive emotions, deep breathe to relax the body. All of these tools are wonderful ways to maintain inner serenity in times of turmoil. Then of course, you might want to read my next column for the Italian Tribune--and see why taking time to notice a rainbow works well, too, in improving the quality of life.

How do YOU reduce stress? Or don't you? Let me know by posting your comments below.

Till next time.. a presto!
RAeleen

Today, Let the Focus be YOU

Nonna Giuseppina’s life centered on the small pleasures of gardening, cooking, and loving her family. And when it came time to go into town she put on her most elegant dress, hat and gloves, and pulled out her best lipstick to make a “bella figura”. Indeed she was proud of herself and held her head high. She always watched what she ate, spoke what she felt, took care of her family, and above all, enjoyed herself every day.
Being of service to others is privilege and a gift, but often we neglect ourselves in such a way as to diminish our self-esteem and keep ourselves from thriving. How? Every time you pass up the exercise, eat junk food, or feed yourself junky-thoughts, it is like taking your most treasured plant and throwing it in the basement, where it will get neither food, nor water, nor light. Every time you let someone else tell you what is best for you, take advantage of you, or internalize someone else’s mean spiritedness, it is like doubling the punishment toward yourself. You were not put on this earth to wallow in self-deprecation.
The Truth is, YOU must be the defender of your own potential. When you need comfort, give yourself comfort with life-affirming self-talk. When you need protection, put an imaginary shield around yourself to block out negativity. When you need to get into shape, cut out the sugar and start walking so as to improve your health and to live a better life. When you’re feeling gloomy about how you look, strip off the sweats and get something out of the closet that will make you feel like royalty. Who cares if you’re only going to walk the dog? Today, I want the focus to be YOU. Do what it takes to celebrate the extraordinary being that you are.

If you need some help giving birth to a new YOU, I encourage you to join me for an individual or group life coaching experience. Drop me a line, and let me know what is keeping you from being all you know you can be. It is time to clarify, focus, and get yourself back on track. You deserve it. info@dolcevitaseminars.com www.dolcevitaseminars.com

Shift Happens (And it Should!)

There is a difference between a foreigner’s perspective of the Aeolian island of Stromboli (e.g., a simple image of an active volcano) versus the perspective of Italians who live nearby and refer to Stromboli as the isola dei sentimenti, the island of feelings. They go beyond the active volcano stage to affectionately seeing her as a moody dome of impenetrable rock, calmed and softened by the embrace of her acquiescing lover, the Tyrrhenian Sea. When is the last time you looked beyond your usual way of seeing things and opened yourself up to a paradigm shift (a new way of looking at things) that could lead you to a more intensely passionate dolce vita (sweet life)? If you feel bored, stuck, or devoid of enthusiasm, or find yourself complaining all the time, it may be time to let shift happen for you, too. Imagine the transformation if you shifted from:
· Fear to courage
· Defensiveness to the ability to listen
· Worry to positive action
· Factual knowledge to wisdom
· Narrow-mindedness to open-heartedness
· Clinging tight to letting go
· Junk food to life-giving foods
· Isolation to joyful socializing
Letting yourself explore a new perspective, helps the real you to emerge by unlocking self-imposed obstacles to your growth and personal development If you are ready to make a shift and need some support in following it through, I invite you to take advantage of a free 30-minute life coaching session to explore how we can work together. Write to info@dolcevitaseminars.com At www.dolcevitaseminars.com you can also sign up for my new weight-loss teleclass, starting this month.

Be Your Own "Amore"

From the poetry of Petrarcha to a scrumptious pannino, Italian style romance is multilayered—like the concentric circles that emerge after throwing a stone into a calm lake. At the center point should always be the love you give to yourself. From there your love can flow to others and out into the world and you will never feel like you are running on “empty.” As Giacomo Dacquinto wrote in his best selling Seduzione, l’arte di farsi amare, Seduction: The Art of Making Others Fall in Love With You, “Give to yourself first; then you will always have something to give others.” Pampering yourself in a way that increases your well-being (nota bene, this would not include downing an entire box of chocolates in one sitting), really does make you irresistible. When you treat yourself like you’re special, healthy relationships will float into you, without your having to seek them out. And when you have honored yourself first, you’ll be prepared to receive love and reciprocate. You don't have to wait until you're in a relationship in order to feel loved; instead declare yourself the recipient of some special treatment in advance: throw yourself a party, order a special meal, or indulge in a half hour of il dolce far niente. When you love yourself, it sends the world a message that you are also worth being loved by others.
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Visit www.dolcevitaseminars.com to find out how you can get a free sample life coaching session with the "Dolce Vita Doctor". You will also find my latest eBook on How to Write and Publish Self-Help Books and Articles--jam-packed with great useable information and examples.

The "Che ci posso fare" Way of Letting Go

I’ve seen Marianna, Rosaria, Concetta, Nerio, Nunzio, Mario, and countless other Italian friends and relatives do it: I am referring to the unmistakable ability to size up a problem al volo, on the fly, and decide whether there is anything to be done about it or not. If yes, then a creative or practical solution is put into effect without fanfare. If no -- then, like the Serenity Prayer that counsels us to accept that which we cannot change -- there is an almost imperceptible shrug of the shoulders, elbows bent, palms facing upward as the sacrosanct phrase of absolution is uttered: che ci posso fare, loosely translated as “what are you going to do?”

As a kid growing up, I didn’t understand how this wise phrase reflected a mental turning point that allows you to put an impossible worry behind you and get back to the business of enjoying life. Who’s to say that with the passage of time a solution won’t come to you? Often it does. More often you realize that mountain of a problem was only a matter of perception, and now you perceive it as a molehill, hardly worth wringing your hands over.

Don’t get me wrong: I am all for taking action in response to life’s everyday problems. But I also have found that true serenity can be learned from the Bel Paese abitudine, of first determining if you want to, need to, or even can do something about a problem that has been making you miserable. Then realize that sometimes the best solution for an impossible situation is to accept it, let it go, and move yourself forward.